Well this may surprise most of you but I have gotten along just fine. Well until recently anyway. (Wife says recently is about two years ago)
I lost a crown off one that had been repaired years ago. I messed around and did not go get it glued back on. It was a lower back molar.
This of course caused an almost immediate problem. The tooth above that one started dropping down to fill the space created by the lost crown. Now the one what lost the crown is going to have to be ground down a lot to make room for another crown.

The build up under the crown is not as strong as the crown nor as wearable. It started to go away a little at a time. Not a problem for me. It still chewed up my steaks just fine!

Then it seems like all of a sudden other problems started to happen. The tooth in front of the lost crown tooth just all of a sudden split and broke into two pieces.

Still not an insurmountable problem to me. I just chewed on the other side. No pain - just a broken tooth. And no dentist or needles in my mouth.


Now I knew I had to go get these things fixed. I am not a complete dummy. But I am putting this off as long as I can. I hate dentists.

Well you probably know what happened then. A tooth on the other side decided to split into two pieces. This is getting to be a rather serious problem.

What the hell have I done to deserve all of this nonsense. I brush and I clean and I take care of my teeth as best I can. They are definitely not cooperating with me now.

As I was eating a big ole rib eye steak

one of them split in two pieces and teeth started chewing on my cheek. That hurts a lot as you probably know.

I hollered and cussed a bit and my wife asked me what the heck is going on. I finally had to fess up and tell her. I hated to have to do that!

You know what happened next I bet.

She says we have dental insurance! Go get them fixed! Well I had no good reason to get out of doing this. I stalled for about two weeks and then she said I had to go get the teeth fixed! She was just plain tired of my belly aching and complaining.

I hate dentists.

Actually I hate them damn needles they stick into places nothing should be stuck by a needle. I hate the needles.

Now don't go thinking I am a coward or anything like that. But I'd rather get my butt kicked in a bar fight than get that damn needle in my gums and jaws.

I hate them needles in my mouth. A needle in my arm or butt don't bother me none at all.

But in my mouth??? That hurts a lot.

Well heck I can get around the pain of the needle. But the real story here is why in the hell does the dentist have to ask me silly ass questions while he has both his hands in my mouth along with a suction hose that can empty a 500 gallon bucket in about ten minutes. And some of them rolled up gauze things to keep my dang tongue out of his way. And the assistant is probing and prodding around in my mouth also. What the hell is he doing in there?

And that dang drill is buzzing like a bee hive and my whole head is ringing

from I am not sure what. The vibrations should be stopped soon as they really make me dizzy.

But before anything happens he has to clean my teeth. Ultrasonic vibrations - that is OK. Then that dang polishing part. Silver Oxide I think it is he squirts all over my teeth. Gritty stuff that takes about a week to get completely rid of with a lot of brushing and flushing.

All of the while I am in a chair that hurts my back and my neck is in torture and I am gagging on my own saliva because the suction hose is not in the right place.

And what the heck is that burning smell? I see smoke. They are shooting water all over my mouth to put the fire out I think, and it is splashing all over my face. I have to keep my eyes closed or get them filled with all sorts of strange things!

And the dang dentist is humming some silly ass song I heard in high school. Why is he so damn happy?

And he keeps asking me questions! How in the hell am I suppose to answer>? I tried and damn near drowned on my own spittle and the water they were shooting under high pressure into my mouth.

Well after two hours in that damn uncomfortable chair and my mouth has been stretched so far it can take a basketball now, I finally get some relief. For about ten minutes. Then it starts all over again.

He took more pictures of my teeth and started to grind away again. He is building something up on my teeth to take those damn impressions to make stuff all fit when he is done.

You know what I am talking about. That gooey stuff he sticks onto your teeth to make a model or something to make the crowns from.

I need four crowns - did I tell you that part? Four!

1 2 3 4 !

Well he fixed up three of my teeth with that dang drill to get crowns in one setting. I thought he was just grinding everything away to put a false set of teeth in there or something.

But no - he was just prepping them teeth to take a crown. Three of them at once.

Then that gooey stuff again. One on the top and another one on the bottom. Filled my mouth with that stuff and said don't move. 5 minutes he said to let it harden. Did this twice, one top - one bottom. I am gagging here folks. I am about to choke to death.

Suction hose has stuck to my cheek and is trying to turn my mouth inside out. The helper is off in the lab or somewhere but he is not sucking the liquids out of my mouth. I am drowning here. And he has a caulking gun in his hand squirting stuff somewhere I have no idea. What is that all about??

Finally he take all of that stuff out of my mouth. He has made a temporary crown thing to cover all that stuff he ground to nothing until I get to go back and get the real crowns. The temps did not fit. He pried them out - thought I was going to be pulled out of the chair.

Got them to fit or close to it. Glued them things right onto my teeth or what is left of them? Two weeks. These temporary things are not the best things I have ever had in my mouth but they cover things up OK I suppose. At least I can chew on that side again.

Now I have two weeks for my sore jaw to heal. Then I get to go back and get the crowns put onto these three teeth. During the same visit he will fix the tooth on the other side and get it ready for a crown. Same story going to happen again but just one tooth this time.

This means the needle again.

This means a sore jaw again. I know he is going to ask more questions when my mouth is so full I can't breathe.

Wife brought me breakfast this morning.

I could not get my mouth open far enough to bite it. I had to carve it up and squeeze it into my mouth in tiny pieces. My jaw is so damn sore! My wife said "Poor baby, bless your heart". And she was giggling - I promise you she was!

Now I know I needed this work done on my teeth. But why in the hell is my wife so happy about me doing this.

She watches me try to eat and groan with the pain of opening my mouth and I promise you she is giggling at me. WHY?? Do I deserve this?? I don't think so.

I got to giggle a bit when I showed her the bill! She did not giggle at that part.

And it ain't over yet! Dentists sure charge a lot more than they did 20 years ago!! Wow!

But she said I am definitely going back in two weeks to continue this torture!!! She is a sadist I think! She is enjoying this a lot - too much if ya ask me!

Did I tell ya that I hate going to a dentist?

Bubba Stan here in Painsville

Day 2