Twas the nite before Xmas and Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list
Miserable little brats ungrateful little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole farkin works

I've busted my ass for a whole damm farkin year
Instead of thanks Santa what do I hear
The old lady bitches cause I work late at nite
The elves want more money,,, the reindeers all fight

Rudolph got pissed as and humped all the maids
Donna is pregnant and vixen has aids,
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes- if that ain't damm farkin funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa freakin money
And the kids these days......they all are the pits
They want the impossible...those mean little shitsssssssss

I spent a whole year makin wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...their arms, legs and their farkin heads
I made a ton of yo yo's -no request for them
They want computers and robots......they think I'm FARKIN IBM!

If ya think that's bad.... just picture this
Try holdin the brats... with their pants full of piss
They pull on me nose... they grab at me beard
And if I don't smile the parents think I'm weird

Flying through the air dodging the trees
Fallin down chimneys and skinnin me farkin knees
I'm quittin this job...there's no enjoyment
I'll sit on me fat ass and draw unemployment

There's no Xmas this year......now ya know the reason
I found me a blonde I'm going south 4 the season ...........

12/12/01