Told the War Department i.e. (wife) gonna take her out to dinner at a
restaurant for some fine dining cuisine. Yep Ol'e Sparky's gonna be a
sitting in his lounge chair tonight with the remote in one hand and a cold
brewski in the other watchin' ESPN on the old boob tube I can sure tell you.



War Department is gettin' all gusseed up and putting on her War paint
with a concrete finishing trowel, and she just bought a new dress from the
Wal-Mart. As she was walkin' through the house, she asked me how she looks?
(Knowing That's a trick question to a man ) Well ol'e Sparky being real smart this
time and knowin' he's not about to give a smart ass answer to a woman that's
  6'4" weights 345 lb's and was the Bayou State frying pan throwin' Champ
last 4 years a runnin' - in the 10 pound class to boot.

So I starts thinkin' real hard to come up with the perfect answer.
All the while I'm thinkin' to myself... that dress she has on would make a fine
outside cover for my Bass Boat, its sure big enough.



  So I answer her! "Your as beautimus as a That big Bass I caught Last year hanging on the wall over the fire place sweet cheeks."
  No answer from her that must be a good sign!




Well Ol's Sparky starts gettin' all gissied up himself puttin' on his new
pair of blue jeans and T shirt, with a  pocket too I might add. No rollin' up
his smokes in his shirt sleeve on this date. So we head out the door to my
pick up truck.



The  War Department puts her big ass foot on my runnin' board to get in and
DANGGGGGG!! The truck leaned so bad my beer slid off down the dash board to her
side of the truck,  ( Reminder - get me one of them swingin' beer can holders
and bolt it to the dash ) Well needless to say, the beer did a perfect 1 ½
gainer onto  War Departments bran new dress from the Wal-Mart store.



All of a sudden, pure silence. You could hear a fly fart all the way from
Minnesota. The woman gave me one of those looks that only a womans could
give a man when she's pissed. It would melt 2" stainless steel  armor plate.
She stomped off back into the house and slammed and locked the door. Well
looks like I am sleeping in the dog house again tonight.

Next week I figure I will give it another try. But first I am going to talk
to my old Cajun friend Boudaux ( That's pronounced Boud-drow to you Yankees) He's been married 40 years and is still alive, so I figure he knows all about womans.