Old Sparky's back in the dog house.

Well Sparky finally Gots some smarts! Since I seem to be spending a lot of time locked out of the house due to circumstances beyond my control, I decided to do an upgrade on my second house. (See picture below)

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I hate missing my Sunday football games!

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It all started yesterday when I got home. I found the war Department crying her little eyes out, So I asked her in my polite way, "What's wrong? You forgot to pick up my favorite beer from the store again???"

She went nuts I tell you. Shit was flying all over the house, Being an Ex Vietnam Vet, I still remembered how to duck, bob and Weave, so very few Items hit me... even though my Wiffie has had plenty of practice throwing things at me over the years.

So then the crazy womans tells me she was going through "The Change." I asked, "What change? Put if off. You don't need to change!"

She told me she was gaining weight, having hot flashes and just felt plain bad. I told her to stop it and we will go out to dinner at Greasy Mac's after I watch my favorite rerun of Bay Watch... cuz I like looking at the sweet young girls on the show.

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Being the old country gentleman I then proceeded to tell her, "I like your fat ass, and even with that mustache you've been growing for the last few months, you still look Ok!"

You'd think, she would be thankful for the compliment I gave her??? Nope! All she did was head the for gun cabinet with beads of sweet pouring off her and a look on her face that would make a possum fart.

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Her being a crack shot, I figured it was time for me to head out... all the while praying, "Pickup truck, don't fail me now! Please start on the first crank of the engine!!"

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I got home around 12 midnight after the bar closed. Thinking I could sneak into the house. But with my luck it would never happen, My best friend, the dog started barking and woke IT up. IT no longer being my Wiffie cause IT has a look on it's face that I have never seen before except in an alien movie on the TV.

The front door flew open and IT started throwing my things outside. Damn! Just my luck again... IT threw everything but my cold beer from the fridg!

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I figure the dog must be pissed cause he sleeps out side now since I moved into his house and he will probably want to get even.

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What the heck I will make up with the dog later. IT will stay mad I guess until I figure out something that's very nice to compliment IT on. Till then, Old Sparky's back in the dog house.