Wildthing was so very happy
Because he has this heavy date
She told him, don’t you dare be early
And don’t you DARE be late!
Well Wildthing knows his women
He knew he had lots of time to spare
What with all that makeup that they do
And they’d spend hours on their hair
Oh, and then they got to do their toenails
With the cotton baton in between
And before they put the makeup on
They got to use a mudpack or facial cream
Their hair is all rolled up with curlers
You know they have to look just right
I can picture it all right now
It must be one God-awful sight
Now they got to shave their hairy legs
And then do their armpits next
I casts my eyes to heavens above and asked,
Oh Lord, why did you make women so complex
Well it’s been about two hours now
Since we last talked on the telephone
I am as good to go, as I ever was
I’ll just splash on a dab of my cologne
I got lots of money in my pockets
Ten bucks, should be enough I’d say
I’m the last of the big time spenders
So I am well equipped to pay
Well I finally got to her place
So I just walked in with a silly grin
OUCHIE WOW-WOW MOMMA
Look at the shape you’re in
Don’t tell me that you are ready to go
Not dressed like that you’re not
If I took you to McDonalds to eat
We would surely both be shot
I just don’t understand you women
What, with all the fussing you go through
To get your selves all gussied up
Don’t do anything for my libido
Why do you girls take so damned long?
It must be a female trait
With all the time you spend on getting ready
That time lasts longer than the whole date
You can say that I am challenging you
To write some kind of retort back at me
Then us guys will know why it takes you so long
And you wouldn't be getting the third degree
