SO
LONG PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY
Attention Pillsbury doughboy
As of today we two are through
I’ve tried very hard to work with you here
I don’t know what else I can do
Ok, the first time I had you in the freezer
I’ll admit that I was wrong
On your package it said, “refrigerate”
So in the freezer you didn’t belong
I went out and bought you two more times
I had a friend Kat I even consulted
She said, read the instruction and you’ll be fine
I felt like my intelligence was being insulted
I took you from the refrigerator
I read the instructions on your pack
I unwound the wrapper from you
See, no intelligence did I lack
I was looking for the place to press
You know that spot that would open you up
Instead you burst your seam on me
You are one awful doughboy pup
I freed you from your casing
And had this gob of goop in front of me
I was looking for the perforated line
But no perforation did I see
By now I’m getting pissed off
And I thought how could this be
I’m letting a stupid piece of dough
Get the best of me
I decided to take a sharp knife
And make a homemade slit across the top
I body slammed you on the table
Sounded like you did a belly flop
Alas I have it opened up
Rolling it all out with lots of care
I thought, what’s with all these triangles
Can't they make these damned things square
I cut a two-inch strip off the bottom
Rolled up a slice of bologna to be wrapped
I did this with the rest of it
You see I’m smart and learned to adapt
There’s one thing I’ve learned from this experience
No more Pillsbury doughboys will I buy
And to listen to Kat say try again
Well, Bite Me Kat, would be my reply
So I say good-bye and good riddance
I’ll not knead you any more
The rest of the Pillsbury doughboys I have here
It’s all going back to that dreadful store
So the moral of this poem is friend
If you don’t want to get laughed at
Don’t say a word to anyone
Especially don’t tell Kat
Author: Tom Hutchinson
AKA Wildthing
TIPS FROM KAT:
REFRIGERATE
UNTIL READY TO USE!!!
For easiest handling, refrigerate the dough until ready to use.
Warm dough may become sticky and hard to handle.
DO NOT PUT THE ROLL IN THE FREEZER!!!
Those TRIANGLES are the PERFORATIONS you couldn't find!!!
Ummm.. I think you should try
the French Bread one!
Kat... YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW
WHAT I AM THINKING!
It's really easy! I PROMISE!!!!!!!!!
YAYAYA ... Now you're
sounding more like a politician
than you do a web-mistress LOL
8/18/05
